Sunday, April 25, 2010

Change

I like change. It feels good to get a fresh start on something. The last few weeks have been full of changes for Rick and I. Rick was contacted about a new job opportunity and decided it was a step up from what he was currently doing. He started his new job last week. I am happy for him and love the few miles less he commutes each week.

As for myself, I had been serving as Relief Society president for the past 3 1/2 years. In that time I had two babies. When Bishop came to my house to let me know the time had come for a change I felt incredible relief and incredible sorrow. There was so much good that came out of it and so much I would miss. I could write pages on the things I learned and loved about the calling. Most of all, I learned how very aware God is of our needs. Not only did I see this manifest in my own life while I served, but I saw it over and over in the lives of the sisters in my ward. And I consider it one of God's tender mercies that he sent my sisters to live close to me just a few weeks before I was called and now that they are moving on to other things and places (Idaho and Africa) it was my time to be released. What a blessing they have been over these past years. Not to mention my good husband. Let's just say the man is amazing.

I received my dream calling-primary pianist. I honestly can't think of an easier calling. The break will be a good, and much needed one but I can already sense the loneliness I will feel if I don't reach out. There isn't much interaction when your hiding behind a piano! How will I resist the temptation to bring along my favorite book and read during the breaks? With this new call I realize even more what a blessing it was to serve as RS pres. I was handed opportunities to help others every day and with that came the happiness that we receive when we reach. Hopefully I've learned the lesson well enough that I can continue to do good. I'm a big believer that when we focus on the needs of others we find our greatest peace and happiness.

I was so certain that with this change I would have all sorts of free time. I even set up a puzzle to work on. After a week, the puzzle hadn't been touched and I put it away, realizing that life with five active children will ALWAYS be busy, even if my church calling only requires me to show up. There's no changing that!

Friday, April 2, 2010

My Dream

I looked in the girls room on my way to bed. It gave me nightmares.
I dreamed that it was Easter. I was in charge of putting the lamb into the crock pot. I was also in charge of making rolls. Before I knew it, Easter had come and we were just an hour from dinner time. I hadn't put the lamb in the crock pot or started the rolls. As we all know, both of these things require hours and I no longer had even one. We had to drive a ways to get to the big fancy mansion where we were having dinner and I was desperately trying to find a way to plug the crock pot into the car. The moment I lost is was when I realized I had made no preparations for Easter and that my kids wouldn't have a visit from the Easter Bunny. There was nothing for him to bring. I dramatically wept to Rick that I couldn't handle everything and that I quit. I curled up in a ball on my bed and cried and cried, realizing that I had ruined Easter.

When I woke up at 5:00 to Grant's whimpers, I was sad for a moment (as I always am at those early hours because it had only been a few hours since he last woke me up) but incredibly relieved that I still had two days until Easter and that I wasn't a failure.

Because I am not a Pharaoh who has a Joseph to interpret my dreams, I get to interpret this one myself. Yesterday, and maybe this whole week, was just a bit too crazy. I genuinely enjoyed my week and had fun but the result was that I have had no time to keep my house clean (as you can see from the pic) and have had very few moments to myself. My mind has been just as busy with thoughts of the future. And to top it of, there wasn't a new episode of The Office to help clear my mind and give me that moment to relax. Woe is me. The end result: Crazy Dreams.

My Interpretation:
Lamb-I spent two hours at Costco yesterday waiting to get my tire fixed. There was a sample of Lamb. It wasn't ready the first time I went around. When I came back the sample was all cleaned up. I never think about or eat lamb but because I was robbed of that one bite it will haunt me in my dreams.

Rolls-I really am in charge of the rolls for Easter. One of my many thoughts as I drifted off to sleep was about what kind of rolls I would make and how many. I like to do things as grand as possible. They really were happy thoughts and I'm not a bit worried about getting them done on time or if they will be good.

Easter Bunny-It's a good thing it's only Friday!

Easter Egg Hunts-Stephanie has been hounding me about big, exciting Easter Egg Hunts. Just before bed I was looking online at the Easter Egg Hunt at Alpenrose where she wants to go and trying to figure out how I could possibly make it work. As much as I love to do fun things, I'm thinking the dream was a sign that the Easter Egg Hunt five minutes from my house will suffice.

Mansions and Weeping on my Bed-I will attribute this part of my dream to Rebecca. It's a book I'm reading about a fictional woman in the 1920's who marries a very wealthy man who has just lost his wife. She is constantly in distress that she doesn't do anything right and that she is ruining everything. I left her weeping on her bed because she had ruined a huge party.

That's my interpretation. I was happy to wake up to the sound of pouring rain. I have nowhere to go today and once I stop using my blog to procrastinate cleaning, I'm going to spend the rest of the day getting my house back in order. It's nice to know that I'm not a failure and even though the girls room is a bit messy (along with the entire house) everyone is happy and I haven't ruined anything.